My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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