I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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