I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
