Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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