I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize