She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
