I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All the doctor said was why
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize