The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
