you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
