It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
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I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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