Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize