Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she smelled like a LAN party
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
