Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
