Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Randomize
