i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
COCAINE IS GR8
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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