I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
