I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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