and she was petting her beer can
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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