I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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