pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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