the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
