You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
