I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize