I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Come on in and take your pants off
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