Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
