i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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