She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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