i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
