So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We left the knife in your bed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
