He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
