So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
