i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
two words...techno handjob
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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