the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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