You made me cry and you don't even care
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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