FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
