Kiss
Puke
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
