Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
