My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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