Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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