Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
