you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
