i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Everyone says I win the strip club
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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