Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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