My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
