Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
