just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
