Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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