I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
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