I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
