Apparently you make a good broom.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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