Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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