First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
