that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
