Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Buhtt sex?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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